Follows The Sun

The world
Ship unstuck. Daffodils beginning to blossom, scilla in full swing, dwarf irises fading. Didn’t even make it around the block today; tomorrow will be even chillier but next week: warm.

The kiddo
Sitting up so well, rolling over pretty good, reaching and grabbing with great determination, generally as affable as ever – but sudden tears continue as we await tooth number two. New and different every day.

Me
Missed a day on Saturday after hosting family seder … and every day since. Dragging a little this week, seem to have figured out why, but slowly. Hope I’m restarted enough to keep some steam tomorrow. Hoy says I should observe for him: he says “poop.” A tough day for Hoy.

The world
Ship stuck in Suez Canal, I know you are Bad News, but you are very funny bad news and I am grateful for that.

The kiddo
Rocked him to sleep last night after a cry. Seems to be taking shorter-ish naps the past few days – tooth hurty? Fussy this evening. Sat up in the bath and grabbed his ducky like anything! He makes progress every time we look away.

Me
Annoyed tonight over feeling that being gracious when someone doesn’t do what they promise gives them license to continue to not deliver. Also this is a thing I suddenly remembered about 10 minutes ago, so struggling to let it go and go to bed. Almost didn’t write but opted not to break such a good streak. Go me? Go bed.

The world
I can’t really believe so much of March has been so nice. I appreciate it, but I can’t believe it. The garden is a highlight of my day. The dwarf irises are beautiful, the scilla are coming up (where I planted them – and in plenty other spots, too!), the daffodils are in bud.

The kiddo
Some minor tooth misery. Seems more prone to startles and sudden sadness, a little fussy, a little less likely to laugh. Still a delight. Glad tomorrow is my morning with him.

Me
What about me? What am I but a person who observes my garden and my kid? Today I drew two different bunnies (a snowshoe hare and a jackrabbit) and this was also part of my work.

The world
I clear the leaves out of the little garden; the wind blows them back in. It’s sort of nice to feel like I have a reason to bend down and be with the plants each day.

The kiddo
A tooth! A tooth! I can’t see it but I felt it. Tooth related fussiness did not have a very strong signal to noise ratio. I am feeling a little maudlin: I have only known his toothless grin, and now it’s gone for good! Except, of course, in every picture and video thus far.

Also, worried he’ll bite me.

Me
Spent a lot of today drawing plants, which is part of my Very Important Psychological Research Job. I liked that.

The world
Sat outside for part of my working day. Lovely. Also, dodging news to avoid hearing about horrors. Also, cases keep rising. I hope things turn around over the next month, I want to send Hugo to daycare!

The kiddo
Fussy this evening – tired? After some crying, Hoy strapped him on in the carrier, and the sound of my baby being miserable was replaced by the sound of Hoy’s voice quietly talking to Hugo about doing various chores. Wonderful.

Me
Feeling better. Two days of feeling like I don’t have to work flat out on something or other to keep my head above water has made me excited to get stuff done again. Also I think Lactaid is helping.

The world
70 goddamn degrees outside. Dwarf irises blossoming, and I can finally see my scilla coming up. Also, second mass shooting in a week. So, climate change! America!

The kiddo
Spent more time outside today than in the past two months, I’ll bet. We walked, we sat on a blanket. He discovered that when he tilts his head back, he can see Hoy and me through the little widow in the shade of his stroller. Perhaps relatedly, he started turning around in his high chair to look at Ganesha behind him.

Me
Took it easy today. Got enough done, didn’t fuss. It felt mighty good. Hanging out in gratitude for my garden, my family; Hoy keeps saying “a finer day we won’t see all year” each nice day, and he’s right.

The world
Sat outside in it with Hugo and Hoy. Something about how they mowed the leaves into the grass in Hunt Park has created leaf-sand that sticks amazingly to Hugo’s fox coat. We got most of it off. Taste of things to come…

The kiddo
Slightly less lovely mood. Hoy on him most of the day – got him down for three naps, no problemo. But at night, he needed to scream. Held him and rocked and did the “You’re ok, and I’m ok, and it’s ok, and we’re ok” thing till his body quieted. I already miss him for tomorrow. He is 7 months old today.

Me
I’m so lazy on the weekends! Got SOME of the stuff done I wanted to. A little. Saw M&D, had a nice chat with Steph, relaxed a lot, cleaned a little. I think after the semester is done, I’ll try to get Hoy to take a few days off with me. It will be nice, in late April or May.

The world
Cleaned more leaves away from the garden. Some small things are coming half in bloom as soon as they make it out of the ground. Could they be my scilla? I look forward to each day’s changes.

The kiddo
Down for two naps with little struggle: first I then Hoy put him down after some books, he cried two minutes then slept for 30. Happy and social with us, with M&D. A third nap started in the carseat on the way home and continued on a walk. Just a lovely little human.

Me
I am so happy around Hugo, and Hoy. Silly and dancing and relaxed. It’s so nice to have this grounding wonderful family to escape my many up-down-good-bad feelings about pandemic.
Also, pretty sure all the achy-gassy discomfort of the last month is the end of my lingering pregnancy-induced lactose tolerance. Back to Lactaid for me.

The world
Bright and sunny today, though not very warm. Reminded again of Mom talking about the daily changes this time of year; what are all these small green things poking out of the ground? But, cases rising again, sharply. So, tense.

The kiddo
Cried for three minutes at bed time, then collapsed on my chest. It felt like he was as grateful to be held as I was to be there holding him.

Me
I made a Twitter today. I used to love twitter, back in 2009 or so. Now it feels like a chore I will do in order to better participate in the Academy. Nothing new for long.

The world
Grey; cold; windy. March. Made it out for a short walk – Hoy said it would be “salubrious” and I think it was.

The kiddo
Around 8:20 this evening decided he was in a laughin’ mood. Hoy and I deep in conversation through dinner, Hugo more or less just fine eating up his avocado without much interaction. Then after dinner, Hoy and I still chatting away while he did the dishes; I sat with Hugo and periodically said “guh! Huggudah!” to him to peals of laughter. Just, like, in between talking to Hoy. “Huggudah!” “Ah-huh-huhh-huhh!” Delightful.

Me
Back to achey all day. I need to move my human body and stretch my aching goblin muscles. I am past 30 and a mom and I know better but I don’t act better, and I am suffering for it.