Quick and Dirty Blogging: STI Clinics Done Me Wrong

This is just a brief post to express my frustration with the STI clinic at which Maymay just very responsibly made an appointment to have himself re-screened.

I was going to do so, too. He called and attempted to make appointments for both of us, consecutively. He was told that he couldn’t make them both, but that there were consecutive appointments, and I should call in. I did, I was shunted to the emergency testing line, who cordially asked me about the unprotected sex I might have had in the past 72 hours. Upon being told that no, I have every reason to believe I’m clean, I just want to make sure, I was shunted back to make an appointment, and then told there was none for over a month, which was then reduced to two weeks. There were none, apparently, consecutive to May’s appointment… that information would only have been accurate if I was male. Because my appointments have to be made through gynocology.

What pisses me off most, here, is not that they were disorganized, listened to him and didn’t listen to me, assumed that when I wanted testing it was because I had done something irresponsible whereas his appointment was just common sense. No, what pisses me off is that the operator who spoke to May must have assumed that his partner was male. Otherwise they wouldn’t have told him there were such consecutive appointments, because appointments are apparently just made differently and along different schedules for women and for men. Which is fine, but fuck you operator for assuming my lover only sleeps with dudes because he’s responsible about his sexual health and he has a soft-toned voice. Fuck you long and hard.

I’ll get my screening another time.


  1. When telemarketers call me or when I call customer service lines, it is almost always assumed that I am female because apparently my voice doesn’t sound deep enough to be a man’s. It was funny, then, that the operator of this particular health clinic assumed I was male, since I doubt my voice has changed much….

  2. Duh, don’t you know girls only need to go to the clinic when they’ve had a drunken accidental night of sex that may or may not have involved a condom?

    (Though it isn’t just clinics. I had my obgyn tell me I didn’t need to get the STD battery when I asked for it. I had just slept with a fairly shady guy and was nervous. (bouncer at the local goth club, transient, squatter, full of shadily done tattoos and piercings, etc) She asked if I had used a condom, and then said “oh, your probably fine.” !@#@)(? I found a new doctor after that, who doesn’t look at me funny for being responsible.)

  3. Funny, I’ve never had a problem with that clinic. They’ve been great to me. Though, again, another bio-male here.

    That said, it is the LGBT community health center. Assuming that a male’s partner is male may be presumptuous, but it also is playing pretty good odds given the patient population.

    • I’ve got nothing against the clinic (although waiting for nearly 3 hours during my partner’s screening was not the best part of my day). He’s got a full screening for a reasonable price, and was able to schedule his appointment quickly and with ease – that my experience differed was just a glitch. And I’m sure that there are plenty of men who come to the clinic whose partners are primarily male. That said, I rather like the B in LGBT, and I would be a happier camper if it didn’t seem so much like lipservice and nothing more.

  4. In slight defense of the clinic- female-bodied folks have a time-sensitive risk of egg-fertilizing that others do not have. As much as you would think that people who are calling a clinic don’t need to be told what Plan B is or be prompted to ask for it, there are at least some who do. We ran into that exact problem at my college where every time women would go in to the wellness center, even for completely unrelated injuries, they would ask about unprotected sex in the last 72 hours- it was sort of a campus wide joke, but a lot of people did feel offended. But for me, I would rather that clinics give the appearance of assumption and reach more people rather than give less information out of a fear of offense.

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