Follows The Sun

• #Home from the party. Got attention-from the sib who follows me, and others. Now clean & cozy as it starts to rain outside. #KinkOnTap prep. #
• Apparently somewhere along the line, my wallet & I parted company. Safe in the hands of school Public Safety, I'll grab it in Boston Tues. #
• @Adisson89 We will miss you so much!
  We want you back! in reply to Adisson89 #
• I talk, @maymaym talks, Obama talks. I talk, @maymaym talks, Obama talks. This is how we test the audio! #KinkOnTap fun. #
• @maymaym I thought Christmas gifts were something I made you get your family. in reply to maymaym #
• Slept late but not too late, doing ok. Off to work now – Wednesdays are easy mornings (but loooong afternoons). Time for #KinkOnTap, though. #
• @DarthBitsy I'm all about another @KinkForAll #Boston. No worries about timing it too close to #KinkForAll #Providence. More the merrier! #
• From working to worrying in one overwhelming wave of concern. #
• Long day at work? Watch Myth Busters smash crystal glasses with their voices. #
• So hungry. What to eat? #
• @NijiShoujo I REALLY do too! Yum! in reply to NijiShoujo #
• Turns out I have a low fever, mounting slowly. I have latkes to make tomorrow! I can't get sick for real! Ibuprofen will keep me safe. #
• Two ibuprofen and the fever has leveled out. Latkes should be a go. #
• @teaguehopkins, you need to chat with @maymaym. Seems there is some social entrepreneurship that you two could profitably converse upon. #
• Home. Safe. Have Clementines – Can weather the snow. #
• @maymaym you just tweeted this. Enjoy your breakfast, sillyboy. #
• @maymaym You're adorable. in reply to maymaym #
• One of those nights, one of those weeks. Hard not to be crippled by it. Hard not to repeat foolish actions. Ready to be home now, please. #

When I was a little girl, few things comforted me more than the theme music for “All Things Considered” on National Public Radio. I heard this over and over, in my parents’ car, on the way to school and on the way back home, but the time it was most comforting was when I climbed into the car mid-day, going home sick from school. Just being in a car around 2:00 pm on a weekday, with the afternoon sun streaming in, fills me with nostalgia. Even more so when NPR is on the radio.

Throughout most of my driving life I didn’t listen to the radio, rather playing and re-playing stacks of mix CDs. But upon breaking with Z, I changed my pace. Too many songs we’d put together for road trips, too many instances of his angular handwriting and oddly elongated, now falsified hearts. I switched to oldies radio, was dismayed to discover how often the same 10 songs are replayed (I thought that was a top 40 phenomenon, not a facet of all commercial radio), and recently opted to go all NPR, all the time.

It’s had an interesting effect. I know a lot more about what’s going on in the world, which is good, and because of my early experiences, I still find listening to it comforting. I can put more pieces together, and I get odd middle-of-the-day stories about dreaming and amnesia and this amazing 85 year old bird photographer who explains that his late-life aviaphilia is his way of preparing for death – by continuing to enjoy life.

I’m listening with particular care because radio has become a major part of another area of my life – unsurprisingly, on the Internet. For nearly 3 months now May and I have been working on the revival of an idea he had years ago: long form talk radio about sex, sexuality politics, and bad ideas involving fruit called Kink On Tap. Although I’ve done my fair share of public and semi-public speaking, I’ve never broadcasted my voice live before, nor have I ever taken the time to edit the recorded product, smooth it out and tighten it up and make it better for the world to hear (to be fair, May does most of that now, too). I did have a brief and abortive love affair with radio upon my arrival at college. A friend of mine and I were going to put together a show on the student run station, playing largely anime and video game music. We went to a few meetings, but the show never made it into existence.

I am still very much working on how these two new places that radio holds in my life relate to each other. What can I learn from the smooth, controlled, and yet still comfortable interviews and conversations held by NPR broadcasters? What parts of their technique are applicable? To what degree is Kink On Tap something that we do for fun, to what degree is its current form merely an infrastructure for Super Secret Projects yet to come, to what degree is it a serious, and perhaps even important, venture into opinion broadcasting, news, and sexuality education?

Are people listening to me and taking what I say into account? Am I on my way to becoming a sexuality pundit, a kinky talking head?

There is a question of responsibility. The simple truth is that if I want this show to be worthwhile, something that grows and continues, that has an ever increasing audience, that becomes financially self-sustaining, something that I take pride in for years to come – I have to take it seriously, and treat it as a responsibility, starting now. Starting, in fact, 3 months ago.  It’s not going to work to get big and then realize we should have been more responsible with what we said and how we said it.

Luckily, I realized this early. I have not been perfect – the workload is not shared out fairly, my participation has become spotty when I am tired or emotionally drained … it is a Big Commitment, and one that is hard to make when I try and fail, again, to take stock of my life, to sort long past from recent past from present and see how they will tie into a future. As I have said so many times before, the things I counted upon are gone, replaced in incredibly short order by new things, untested by time. I am not on very solid ground to make Big Commitments.

Again, however, I am lucky: I am already committed. I care about sexuality and about education and about spreading information to as many people as possible. This commitment has been growing in me from long past through recent past and into the present, and it will continue on into the future. A weekly radio show that keeps me in touch with what’s happening, that forces me to pay attention and to learn to consider what I say carefully, but also quickly, to speak out and also to think on my feet, that is a good thing. A commitment I can make.

But don’t think for a second I’m not taking it seriously.

• @ASimon89 I can imagine you'd be even more stunning with eyeliner on, cutie. Nothing better than a dark-eyed boy. in reply to ASimon89 #
• @ASimon89 You are such a cutie, there in your bunk … reminds me of some of my of college sex, beds like that. What event was this for? in reply to ASimon89 #
• @ASimon89 I know that feeling. Distance friendship is (one of) the way(s) to go! It's certainly the way I seem to keep going…. in reply to ASimon89 #
• @MollyRen The only one of my friends who lives an #asexual lifestyle is the biggest #cuddle-whore I know. She just doesn't fuck, is all. in reply to MollyRen #
• @maymaym Taking a look and seeing see what I can add. Thanks for this! It's odd to think of my attempt to find terminology crossing the Net. in reply to maymaym #
• @writingdirty Your sad little bar has a bottle of St. Germain? I had no I idea you so valued to simple elderflower… in reply to writingdirty #
• Reading articles for #KinkOnTap tonight. I wonder if this show'll be more downbeat than others? There's so much needing to be said. #speakup #
• Alright, everybody. I have some Things To Say on #KinkOnTap tonight. Be prepared, for I have #Opinions, this night. #
• PS Totally psyched to have former @ConversioVirium president Raizel and @nikolasco joining us tonight! #
• @sarahdopp Hey! You're egging me too! I'm important! #KinkOnTap in reply to sarahdopp #
• @ASimon89 Just my shoulders. You'll get 'em some other way. in reply to ASimon89 #
• @NijiShoujo I know her son, Chris. She's a very nice lady. Good Mom-stock. in reply to NijiShoujo #
• @jamesbcarp @maymaym What about the idea that education is mandatory, but partaking in the educational system isn't? Self-ed as real choice? in reply to jamesbcarp #
• @maymaym @jamesbcarp There are #youth answers & there are #law answers to that. Regardless, I'd rather fight for good Ed NOW than change it. in reply to maymaym #
• @maymaym I agree, but to my mind attacking legislation w/out trying to fix the actual educational system first is very poor #prioritization. in reply to maymaym #
• 1) #compulsory is a #horrible word 2) It is particularly out of place in UN document 3) I'll fight to better Ed 1st – I can do only so much. #
• @maymaym We all choose our battles. I choose the one I find more important, and am glad to have you fighting your own fight. in reply to maymaym #
• @jamesbcarp @maymaym "Has to Happen" & "Mandatory by Law" are diff. Education will happen, but I doubt toilet training's mandatory even now. in reply to jamesbcarp #
• @jamesbcarp @maymaym Hence my desire to research assessment & accountability, to work to change the system before I change laws behind it. in reply to jamesbcarp #
• @echomikeromeo The answer is almost always yes. in reply to echomikeromeo #
• I spend so much time having conversations in my head with people who aren't there. Today they aren't so magnificent. #
• @Adisson89 Passed up on one of my social times. Next chance not for a while – except for the wee ones, of course. in reply to Adisson89 #
• @zacmakes That's friggin' terrifying! But I'm sure nothing you can't handle… in reply to zacmakes #
• @Adisson89 Your hair is my best friend. in reply to Adisson89 #
• My parents are full of #kinkontap ideas – who to talk to, what to look at, earlier research on topics we're gonna discuss. They're great! #
• @maymaym Smile for brain chemicals. in reply to maymaym #
• @Adisson89 Oh yes? Do tell! in reply to Adisson89 #
• @Adisson89 a blushful thought, indeed? in reply to Adisson89 #
• @Adisson89 Of course, of course… in reply to Adisson89 #
• @sarahdopp THEY'RE WATCHING. in reply to sarahdopp #
• It. Is. So. Damn. Cold. #
• @Adisson89 @gunnerkrigg court does wicked things to my brain, which is why I love it. What did Diego do? Who's that guy? What's the stick? in reply to Adisson89 #
• Best pre-teen-girl-at-the-Library quote today: "Who can't rock skinny jeans?! Santa Claus can rock skinny jeans!" Oh, and Chappy Chanukah. #
• @Adisson89 I think that dude throws it and it solidifies the split. Or steals Coyote's power. It is a Bad Thing. (Court = Evil). in reply to Adisson89 #
• @Adisson89 Coming right up? No…won't be that easy… in reply to Adisson89 #
• @Adisson89 NO! You must eat. Can I send you food?! in reply to Adisson89 #
• @Adisson89 What shall you do? I fret for you. in reply to Adisson89 #
• @Adisson89 Yeah, that is annoying. I'm sorry. Enjoy soup? in reply to Adisson89 #
• Odd – while I don't love being surrounded by heat (saunas, v. hot days) I will sit catlike by or on top of any heatsource or in any sunbeam. #
• @Adisson89 Possibly, possibly. Do you want me to come sit on you while I watch Sherlock Holmes and read twitter updates? Really? in reply to Adisson89 #
• @Adisson89 Fair enough. Only remaining problem is proximity. You see my heater is right here, & there's the big pillow to sit on just by it. in reply to Adisson89 #
• @MollyRen Yeah those are great! (winks @maymaym) in reply to MollyRen #
• @Adisson89 It's also probably hotter (temperature wise, you understand. It is a box, not v. sexy). It's designed to heat the apartment, see. in reply to Adisson89 #
• @maymaym I know. Me too. Many folks, I'm sure. in reply to maymaym #
• @MollyRen It's pretty hard to damage somebody slapping or punching. If ya stay below the neck & don't go for the kidneys, almost impossible. in reply to MollyRen #
• @Adisson89 I must say I am constantly surprised that you shave your legs. You seem to do so quite a bit more often than I! in reply to Adisson89 #
• @Adisson89 Ahh… I was puzzled. I have not shaved mine in… nearly a month. I'm pretty lax with it in winter. But I do know what you mean. in reply to Adisson89 #
• @echomikeromeo That's just a clause! I want the rest! in reply to echomikeromeo #
• @kalisis I often wonder that. Somehow giving one's hard is a whole helluva lot easier than getting it back again. in reply to kalisis #
• Wake slowly, cozy, alone. Drive to Winter Market. Get hit by the smell of it, sound of Folk Music – which of these shreds of life are mine? #
• @kalisis Time does heal the wounds – just, um. Slowly. Which shouldn't be a surprise to us, but it's hard to be patient when you hurt. in reply to kalisis #
• @kalisis I am stupidly guilty of that one. And the I try to stop it, and a single word of encouragement and I'm right back, chatting away. in reply to kalisis #
• I wish I were among the Baker Street Irregulars. #
• Tonight there shall be a swirly, shiny skirt, a corset, boots. A bowler hat. If I don't get attention I will throw a little fit. #
• @Adisson89 Thanks, Lovely. I'll bear that in mind (really). in reply to Adisson89 #
• @Adisson89 What'd he do? /grin in reply to Adisson89 #
• Thanks, Doctor. Now every time I see a statue of an angel, in any TV show, ever, I have the urge to shout "Don't blink!"-disrupts the plot. #
• @MollyRen Spectacular. I'm pleased to hear it! in reply to MollyRen #

• Psyched for @KinkOnTap tonight. It's been too long! Should be a great show! #

• @maymaym and I are home and safe. Thanks to all who RTed about the show, and SO MANY THANKS to @nikolasco for #kfadc, and everything else. #

• @katebornstein Thanks from Providence! I'll check that out. Happen y'know what time? Or Turner's Twitter? in reply to katebornstein #
• Having slept till 1:00, rose slowly and retrieved coffee. All normal mugs looked paltry, so I used the giant one I keep pens in. coffeezilla #
• @diabola Yeesh! I should probably look over the topics, too. What a thing, when one is reminded to work by one's own guests! Fantastic! in reply to diabola #
• In preparation for @KinkOnTap, I find myself searching for #Medieval medical tracts, contemplating the rise & fall of the #Catholic #Church. #
• @jamesbcarp Maybe not fallen, but falling. There was a time when, if the Church pushed a secular government, the government didn't push back in reply to jamesbcarp #
• @maureengh You asked me that before, too. I seem to recall telling you that I had. in reply to maureengh #
• @MollyRen Better than the #kinkontap in which May revealed his Tomato-Predilection? Really? in reply to MollyRen #
• Coming to terms with fact that #KFADC being this #Saturday means #KFADC is THIS SATURDAY. Ping me back (hashtag it!) if I'll see ya there! #
• @nikolasco If you're not at #KFADC, I will literally cry. I will just sit down in the middle of the District (or a bit outside) and sob. <3 in reply to nikolasco #
• @MollyRen I know and I am PSYCHED! One of my definite #KFADC plans is getting to your pres. in reply to MollyRen #
• #KFADC RT @sarahdopp: Hey queers & sex nerds who live near DC! You should go to this free sexuality conference this Sat: http://is.gd/4WE31 #
• @MollyRen You already have notes?! Yeesh, I gotta get my #KFADC butt in GEAR! But first, to finish the night's #KinkOnTap work… in reply to MollyRen #
• @nikolasco NINE books? Holy crap you are a #KFADC rockstar! …. but we knew that already, really. in reply to nikolasco #
• RT @bewareleopard: YES YES YES RT @levarburton: With a nod to Jay -Z, we've all got problems… http://bit.ly/3zBHIO
  – HOLYFUCKAWESOME! #
• @writingdirty But #KFADC is an all-day event – come late! Better to miss a few hours than the whole thing. in reply to writingdirty #
• Up and about for #kfadc. Drove 7 hours after work last night. Who made mornings so damn early? #
• Opening Comms at #kfadc. @nikolasco rocks my socks! #
• @writingdirty So glad you are going to make it! #kfadc will be the better for your presence! #
• In @mollyren's feederism pres. Psyched to learn! #
• @mollyren says in #feederism, as everywhere else, the mainstream gets it wrong. #kfadc #
• #kfadc @mollyren reminds us that no matter what you're #looking for, until you find it you are #lost. #
• @mollyren says that face-to-face contact is needed to spread accurate information. #feederism lacks space for this contact. #kfadc #
• @nikolasco presents on #Taoist #sexual #practices. I didn't know there were such things! #kfadc #
• Apparently in #Taoism #abstinence is regarded as #unnatural. I knew I liked this philosophy! #kfadc #
• @maymaym Taoist female sexual vampirism sounds right up your alley! Thanks for the hint, @nikolasco! #kfadc #
• Things I learned at #kfadc: I am not good enough at math to have #Taoist #sex. #
• Michael Rios eloquently talks about the #culture of #fear & judgement as it intersects w #sexuality. I suspect this will be a theme. #kfadc #
• Sexual scarcity leads to violence, war. Enjoying eachother promotes peace. #kfadc #
• 'nobody agrees with everybody on everything, all the time – and that's as it should be!' #kfadc #
• Hard to mind small number at #kfadc – I don't have to miss as much. #
• Psyched for @maymaym's Adultism Pres next. So much thought and care from both of us. It's a great pres. #
• Might not tweet much during @maymaym's pres. I want to watch this. #kfadc #
• #kfadc is back from a lovely long lunch. Listening to a pres on How To Make A #TNG. #
• Things to be aware of when planning a #TNG munch: price, availability of public trans, and ofcourse, age. Bars don't work for most youth. #
• #kfadc reminds me: it is SO hard to come out from behind the computer screen. Out online is not the same as out in the world. #
• How wise a notion – teach people to do safely what they will be doing anyway. Thanks, Lindsey. #kfadc #
• If the main organized #BDSM group is #dysfunctional, why create #TNG groups to funnel young people into it? #kfadc #
• Are men inately barbarian in nature, tamed by the power of women's erotic alure, trapped by domesticity? #kfadc #
• Does breaking traditional gender roles break society? My world today rebells at such a #simplistic view of #gender. #kfadc #
• I do rather buy in to Biological Conservative views of gender. But we can rise above genetic predilictions.complex beasties, humans. #kfadc #
• @nikolasco, etc: Not so sure presenter is giving HIS beliefs, so much as explaining a societal paradigm. #kfadc #
• Why can't I have #kfadc AND #coffee? #
• @maymaym is petting me now. Better than #coffee. #kfadc #
• Is it weird that the first thing that springs to mind when I think of #polyamory is #scheduling? #kfadc #
• There are few people on the planet with whom I do not consider myself to be in a hand-shake kind of relationship. #kfadc #
• Up next at #kfadc: 'stories from a bisexual activist life' w Loraine Hutchins & 'why writing about sex' w @writingdirty. So hard to choose! #
• I will never leave a #personal #story unaffected. Humanity is a love story, a million love stories. I am in love. #kfadc #
• Discussing how we define #queer. I talk so much about how I define #kink. Perhaps I should not take otherwords for granted, either. #kfadc #
• Bouncing aimlessly between preses. My attention is not caught. #kfadc #
• I. Love. Slashfic. Thanks, @writingdirty. #kfadc #
• Does female written gay slash fic help young women control sexuality? Could be! #kfadc #
• On gender: even worse than putting people in boxes is keeping those boxes locked. #kfadc #
• Language and gender are so strangely linked. But it will not cease to be important. Try and fail, but try. #kfadc #

• @ASimon89 Not dissed! I knew what you were saying. I still feel the love! (PS thanks for the pics, Cutie Pie) in reply to ASimon89 #
• @ASimon89 D'awww thanks! You make me full of smiles! in reply to ASimon89 #
• @maymaym Harsh, but not undeserved. in reply to maymaym #
• @bewareleopard Yep. I'm on AIM constantly. It's my main way of keeping in touch. Also G-chat. in reply to bewareleopard #
• @laken84 I've been in and out of that place for months. Take time for little comforts, let things slip when you need to. Semi-stranger hugs! in reply to laken84 #
• @ASimon89 THANK YOU THANK YOU THAT MADE MY DAY. Wow. Just wow. Gonna go watch it again now… in reply to ASimon89 #
• RT @ASimon89: I am in looooove http://is.gd/4SCNI (OH MY GOD IT'S SO PRETTY!) #
• From the awesome "Adventures of SHelock Holmes" – Watson: "What are you going to do?" Holmes: "To smoke. It is quite a three pipe problem." #
• @jamesbcarp Sadness! Stupid Computer Face! in reply to jamesbcarp #
• @Ms_Goose Here here! I don't understand half of what @maymaym says. I love him for his #mystery. in reply to Ms_Goose #
• Holmes:"And yet the motives of women are so inscrutable. How can you build on such a quicksand?!" Excellent question, my dear sir. #
• @ASimon89 Try a large boy's coat, perhaps? I know the feeling… in reply to ASimon89 #
• @teaguehopkins That is SO correct. Thank you. in reply to teaguehopkins #

• @kalisis @ASimon89 You guys are so great! You make me smile and get all wiggly! Lookit me wiggle!!! #
• @ASimon89 I'm not entirely sure. Where were your underwear last seen? in reply to ASimon89 #
• @ASimon89 Oh, wait! Your #KinkOnTap underwear! You never told me what style to make you, so I have not been able to begin my project. in reply to ASimon89 #
• @kalisis @ASimon89 This conversation is totally not even about me anymore. You two have fun, though! kisses! #
• @MollyRen I promised @ASimon89 that I'd make him some #KinkOnTap undies if he'd model 'em for us. We'll have a pic for ya one of these days! in reply to MollyRen #
• @kalisis I'm gonna see if @ASimon89 can field that one. in reply to kalisis #
• @ASimon89 Not so much a test as a blatant ducking of the question. Sorry to put you on the spot, honey-pie. Enjoy your likker! in reply to ASimon89 #
• @ASimon89 Oh my gosh! You are the coolest! I think I can speak for @maymaym when I say we both love you too, very very much! We missed you! in reply to ASimon89 #
• @ASimon89 That's great to hear! You're always on our We'd-Like-To-Hear-More-From-Them list. But I'm not sure I've got your number… in reply to ASimon89 #
• @sarahdopp We are affectionate towards your affectionate observation of our affections! in reply to sarahdopp #
• @sarahdopp For it! Now how do I get over there…. in reply to sarahdopp #
• @ASimon89 I have NO idea what you're talking about… /grin in reply to ASimon89 #
• @nikolasco This fun seems to be all over the country, my dear. I think we'll all do best with it in dreamland. in reply to nikolasco #
• @sarahdopp I hope you guys have an awesome time! I am, as always, jealous. Wish I could be there – tho I think I'd skew the cute boy ratio. in reply to sarahdopp #
• @maymaym Measure slippage by quality of product, not by quantity of work. If we succeed, we needn't angst that we've had less work time. in reply to maymaym #

• Diving into prep for @KinkOnTap. Tonight @maymaym and I talk to @Ms_Goose and @bigolpoofter – stands to be excellent #conversation! Tune in! #
• @Ms_Goose It's 5:00 pm PST, yep! My time, however, is EST. I do the show at 8:00 pm. I can't wait to do it with you! in reply to Ms_Goose #
• @Ms_Goose Thanks for being on! It was lovely! in reply to Ms_Goose #
• Off to weekly #bar #night. I'll never know why The Elder Drinkers set it on Monday. Perhaps it's to lengthen the weekend & shorten the week? #
• RT @wendyblackheart Man, I totally wish I had understood earlier why not letting boys have orgasms is awesome. #
• @maymaym Personally interested, eh? Because having #power is great, and being wanted is #glorious, and I love your face when I say "#No." in reply to maymaym #
• @ASimon89 Awww, thanks! Just 'cuz I'm power-hungry and getting good at being mean to boys? Well… I'll take it! in reply to ASimon89 #
• @maymaym I very seriously intend to take the entire universe to task for it's treatment of you over the past several months. WFT indeed! in reply to maymaym #
• @maymaym One of the Great Questions, that. I'm guessing he's unlikely to be the one to solve your problem – so, I think, are the CSRs. Luck! in reply to maymaym #
• @maymaym I'm so glad somebody there was trying to help you. I hope things work out. I'm sending all of my love and good thoughts to you! <3 in reply to maymaym #
• @ASimon89 luck!! in reply to ASimon89 #
• @maymaym I'll reply to every tweet, til I walk out the door. GO TRANSPARENCY! GO YOU! Kick up a ruckus, Wonderboy. (Then change banks srsly) in reply to maymaym #
• @maymaym That's a good sign. At least they're calling, trying, and not telling you that there's nothing they can do until tomorrow. #Hope!! in reply to maymaym #

• Am drinking hot water with fresh mint, half a lemon & honey. Have fresh baked cookies. Spending a cozy afternoon prepping for @kinkforall 🙂 #
• All of which is true except that today, rather than earlier in the week, I'm prepping for @kinkontap rather than working on @kinkforall. #
• Why so many 3-syllable names that start with the word "kink"? Why, @maymaym, why? I am constantly misrepresenting my efforts, here, y'know! #
• Totally psyched for @kinkontap tonight! We've got @mrsexsmith on, and another #awesome #topic list. Check us out! http://live.kinkontap.com! #
• @tylerthepup I send love. Simply love. in reply to tylerthepup #
• @dandelionjar Oh, hey! Enjoy the sun & science! I'll miss you! in reply to dandelionjar #
• Hormonal #birthcontrol in #longdistance #relationships = a 10 dollar co-pay worth of pure #irony. #
• @bewareleopard I will totally be there. That's worth while, yeah? in reply to bewareleopard #
• No fever, but a nasty cough and aching chest – do I stay home from work, or try to spend the day reading to kids? I think I stay home. You? #
• Heading to work after all. If I feel nasty, I can leave early, and it won't count as having taken a fully day off. Wish me luck! #
• Still feeling sick. Still think I'm gonna try for work today. I'll take sudafed. If I feel better, I stay. If I don't, I head home. #
• Turns out I didn't feel better – might be that I just need to remedicate, but I think I will nap first. Then dinner. Then @Kinkontap work. #