Follows The Sun

The world
Woke up to snow. Beautiful, fluffy snow falling slowly to through the air. Snow on the ground. I wasn’t even mad. It’s my favorite kind of snow, and a nice late taste of winter beauty. March has the range.

The kiddo
Went to a social work gathering after daycare, and he was terrified on arrival. Clung to Hoy, clutched a strawberry but was too scared to eat it. He warmed up to it though and explored the house with gusto.

Me
Felt behind. Felt annoyed.

3.9.22
The World
It’s amazing how different 40 degrees is from 30 degrees. Today feels like the earth is stirring, even though I see hardly any green things in all my diligent peering.

The Kiddo
Napped less than an hour, slightly cranky all night. Snuggled right up during books though, which was nice.

Me
Got enough done! Could have done more.

3.10.22
The World
I am too much drawn in to the horrors of the world at large to focus much on the beauties of the world up close today. But I do worry that the daffodil-or-whatever shoots I uncovered from the leaves will suffer in the cold. If I waited, I’d worry about them getting enough light.

The Kiddo
Played on his own a lot of the evening; delighted by the stick figure chalk drawing Hoy made on the chalk-wall. Came home and pointed right at it and shouted “BABY!” and was pretty chalk-focused all night.

Me
I got three new fillings and a heart full of worry, it seems.

The World
Actually saw the moon tonight at around 6:40 pm, a bright beautiful crescent high over the back fence, near the branches of the surviving walnut.

The Kiddo
I am so grateful he still falls asleep in my arms. I love being able to hold him until I can feel him relax.

Me
Having a body is not always a walk in the park. But, it’s also what lets you walk in the park. So, here we are.

A lunar cycle of daily writing, beginning with the first green shoots in my garden.

March 5

The world
Slowly got warmer over the course of the day. The chives in their pots starting to come in green, which prompted me to poke around under the leaves in the front garden, and sure enough, some little shoots are coming up. The dwarf irises? The beginnings of daffodils? Time will tell.

The kiddo
Tall enough to hold hands without me bending over, and willing to do so … sometimes. When I offer, and the ground is slippery or uneven. I don’t ever want to stop.

Me
Working on balance. Eyes open to the suffering; but not so much that I add my own needless suffering. Grateful for my good fortune, open to enjoyment, but not so much that I nosedive into callousness.

March 6

The world
I usually don’t get along with wind, but every once in a while it’s fun. Today it was in the 50s for the first time all year, so the 30 mph gusts felt fun instead of just freezing.

The kiddo
Almost blown over at one point. Also, bravely walked into the pool up to his knees, in order to immediately drag the toy octopus back to the shallows.

Me
After 18 months of grad student parenthood, it’s good to know I still know how to handle time to myself.

March 7

The world
A good thing about a very fine, misty rain in March is the way the water gathers on branches like hundreds of little jewels lining the bottom of every twig.

The kiddo
Saw us toast at my mom’s birthday a few weeks ago and now says “chee-yus” all the time, at the table reaching out his cup to clink, but also sitting in the back seat of the car, over and over to himself.

Me
The me ones are the hardest ones to write right now.

The world
Ship unstuck. Daffodils beginning to blossom, scilla in full swing, dwarf irises fading. Didn’t even make it around the block today; tomorrow will be even chillier but next week: warm.

The kiddo
Sitting up so well, rolling over pretty good, reaching and grabbing with great determination, generally as affable as ever – but sudden tears continue as we await tooth number two. New and different every day.

Me
Missed a day on Saturday after hosting family seder … and every day since. Dragging a little this week, seem to have figured out why, but slowly. Hope I’m restarted enough to keep some steam tomorrow. Hoy says I should observe for him: he says “poop.” A tough day for Hoy.

The world
Ship stuck in Suez Canal, I know you are Bad News, but you are very funny bad news and I am grateful for that.

The kiddo
Rocked him to sleep last night after a cry. Seems to be taking shorter-ish naps the past few days – tooth hurty? Fussy this evening. Sat up in the bath and grabbed his ducky like anything! He makes progress every time we look away.

Me
Annoyed tonight over feeling that being gracious when someone doesn’t do what they promise gives them license to continue to not deliver. Also this is a thing I suddenly remembered about 10 minutes ago, so struggling to let it go and go to bed. Almost didn’t write but opted not to break such a good streak. Go me? Go bed.

The world
I can’t really believe so much of March has been so nice. I appreciate it, but I can’t believe it. The garden is a highlight of my day. The dwarf irises are beautiful, the scilla are coming up (where I planted them – and in plenty other spots, too!), the daffodils are in bud.

The kiddo
Some minor tooth misery. Seems more prone to startles and sudden sadness, a little fussy, a little less likely to laugh. Still a delight. Glad tomorrow is my morning with him.

Me
What about me? What am I but a person who observes my garden and my kid? Today I drew two different bunnies (a snowshoe hare and a jackrabbit) and this was also part of my work.

The world
I clear the leaves out of the little garden; the wind blows them back in. It’s sort of nice to feel like I have a reason to bend down and be with the plants each day.

The kiddo
A tooth! A tooth! I can’t see it but I felt it. Tooth related fussiness did not have a very strong signal to noise ratio. I am feeling a little maudlin: I have only known his toothless grin, and now it’s gone for good! Except, of course, in every picture and video thus far.

Also, worried he’ll bite me.

Me
Spent a lot of today drawing plants, which is part of my Very Important Psychological Research Job. I liked that.

The world
Sat outside for part of my working day. Lovely. Also, dodging news to avoid hearing about horrors. Also, cases keep rising. I hope things turn around over the next month, I want to send Hugo to daycare!

The kiddo
Fussy this evening – tired? After some crying, Hoy strapped him on in the carrier, and the sound of my baby being miserable was replaced by the sound of Hoy’s voice quietly talking to Hugo about doing various chores. Wonderful.

Me
Feeling better. Two days of feeling like I don’t have to work flat out on something or other to keep my head above water has made me excited to get stuff done again. Also I think Lactaid is helping.

The world
70 goddamn degrees outside. Dwarf irises blossoming, and I can finally see my scilla coming up. Also, second mass shooting in a week. So, climate change! America!

The kiddo
Spent more time outside today than in the past two months, I’ll bet. We walked, we sat on a blanket. He discovered that when he tilts his head back, he can see Hoy and me through the little widow in the shade of his stroller. Perhaps relatedly, he started turning around in his high chair to look at Ganesha behind him.

Me
Took it easy today. Got enough done, didn’t fuss. It felt mighty good. Hanging out in gratitude for my garden, my family; Hoy keeps saying “a finer day we won’t see all year” each nice day, and he’s right.