The world
News now all about five people killed in a submarine that imploded and five hundred people drowned while governments ignored it. I can do nothing about any of this, and struggle to manage it. Apparently state laws barring trans kids’ access to affirming care have been blocked by judges, and I wish I could be happy but I’m just waiting for the supreme court to rule that trans people don’t have human rights actually because they expect the founding fathers were as bigoted as they are.
The kiddo
Three items from today: him and his dad on the new swing, singing call and response songs with me, him peaking his little head over the back and giggling when I smiled at him; him taking one book at a time from the bookshelf in the hall and placing them carefully one by one onto a tall stack in his room, while repeating bits of “Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening;” him telling me “I don’t love you, but I don’t… do… love Daddy” and on asking why that might be, telling me because Daddy is nicer to him than me. And then giving me just the biggest hug. |
Me
I don’t know, I don’t know. Found out I don’t get to teach next semester, but do get a fellowship semester. This is a sweet deal that will make my life easier and was made without any input from me; the reason we was given isn’t true and I suspect the real reasoning is not anything I’d be happy about. It is taking time and stress when I need to be focusing, but also, I guess I don’t have a class to prep for fall so maybe I’ll have more time to work down the line. Started writing, but obviously did not get as far as I’d hoped. I am so sick of all this nonsense, there is so much nonsense.
I kind of which my kid would tell me he loved me, but also, he runs to greet me and gives me huge hugs and snuggles with me all the time and I can almost always make him smile and he loves to play with me and hates it when I go. And all of that is more important than saying three specific words.