I wish I had found time
to stand with my eyes closed
and listen to the sound
of snow melt in the woods
***
there are downed trees in the gorge
that are crumbling
covered in moss in unbroken carpets
and others
that we could still sell for lumber
***
March has slipped away
cloaked in the happy story
I threw over it
Even after all of this
I feel I could have
appreciated it more
maybe next year
or the year after
the wind howled
like a hurt lion
who does not want
to leave
***
discovered what an evening
mostly together
feels like:
pretty nice
but very neutral
and leaves you wondering
at how little together
you were
***
a day filled with
little bits of closeness
like solving a puzzle
or possibly
two
driving away in the evening
the breaks in the clouds lit the sky
golden and blue
then the grey rolled in
and wrapped the highway
in a gentle rain
I got my hopes
dashed again today
sometimes you’re just stuck
in the system you’re stuck in
***
Driving home today I looked at the trees
standing bare in the park
where they hold the summer market
and even though I know snow is on its way tonight
I believed that they were full
of life
and that if the buds weren’t forming yet
they would be forming soon
and I was grateful to believe it
I am also grateful
for my friends who taught me patiently
how different people are from one another
and reminded me gently and consistently
how thoughtless words can hurt
and how grateful I should be
for everything that comes easily to me
and also I suppose, for the things that don’t
Made it outside to
shake off the winter some
we went to the park to dance
at the yearly tiny drum circle
out in the fake grecian temple
by the artificial pond
the wind was so strong
it blew backpacks around
the sun still bright at four
and five in the afternoon
our dog was much blown about
and extremely confused
but it certainly felt
excellent to be alive
***
sometimes you just
have to do a thing
to remember that you can
It is the second day of spring
yesterday, the first,
(which was the twentieth)
I saw the first blooming crocus
but I have not been out today
I have wasted sunshine
and free hours
but the forgiving light
is lending me a
few minutes more
to make it up
(march 18)
was a Tuesday
and a day
when I thought
I might never remember
how to be productive
(march 19)
I started getting
a few things done
an early meeting
a smart question or two
but boy it wore me out!
(march 20)
back in the swing?
better than ever?
I am proud of today but
not counting
my (productivity)chickens
a lot of the teachers wore green today
some really went all out
but the students didn’t seem to notice
there wasn’t a fuss
the only one I talked to
told me about her housing complex
which she loves, where she feels safe
and how she has only ever been
in one fight, in 7th grade
(she got her nails done after)
except maybe also that
one time when she was 13
there was a disagreement
over clothes lines and laundry
and she punched a girl who
came at her neck on the stairs
the girl was 30
and actually her next door neighbor
who already had fading black eye
from her boyfriend
who hit her
when the cops came she
tried to blame the bruises
on the student and her mom
that girl was crazy though, said my student
why did she stay with that guy?
This day is the least
to be bewared of
any day in recent
memory
really, it has been
thoroughly nice
***
I haven’t needed a new
journal notebook since
November of last year
I guess I don’t write
as often as I used to
finally the last page is reached
and I am off to the art store
but what’s this?
No more 5.5×8.5
blank paper notebooks?
Nothing measures up
until I spot the
tan tone paper books, 50 sheets
just right to test out
what effect these tinted pages
will have on
the flavor of my days
yes it is snowing
but it will be fifty degrees
day after tomorrow
so not to worry
just enjoy the fat flakes
wandering down
***
this friday has
nothing to say for itself
except maybe
pi
61 degrees
out for a walk
I spotted first one
sparkly purple child’s glove
then another
discarded
as if pulled off and
thrown away
in the first passion of spring
***
we’re at a point in the academic year
when it becomes possible to look forward
this student got the job at the YMCA but not into the preferred college
that student will not be going to Cape Verde but to summer school
instead
soon I will be able to start guessing
where I have helped
and I have not